5 steps to being confident
Confidence: Noun - The feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
Having faith or relying on someone or something is a pretty great feeling, even better is having that same faith in yourself. Self-confidence.
Lots of us lack self-confidence or at times can feel insecure. I get a lot of people saying it’s amazing I’m such a confident person. I don’t always feel completely that way but I have a couple of things to do to at least appear confident and not shy or awkward. Sometimes you’ve really got to fake it til you make it and that definitely translates into genuine feelings.
So I thought today I’d give you a few things I think about when it comes to self confidence and remember…
"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." --Barrie Davenport
- Be prepared.
This is definitely a practical and achievable suggestion. If you are prepared for whatever it may be – your job, presentation, interview you have the knowledge to fall back on and won’t be left there feeling stumped. This doesn’t have to be in an academic sense. In terms of everyday life, if you want to feel confident in a certain outfit, for example, make sure you’ve tried it on, tested out a little walk in your mirror, paired it with your shoes, maybe done a little lunge to test out your flexibility. Basically do whatever you need to do to feel prepared when you head out. I personally do this with most outfits (not always the lunge), because I want to try out new styles all the time. I’ve realized that heading out in an outfit I’m not sure on leaves me feeling uber self conscious and that isn’t the best accessory for a great outfit.
2. Change your body language
Posture, smiles, eye contact, slow speech. These are also tell tale signs of a confident person. Pulling your shoulders back can instantly give the impression of confidence, another huge one is keeping your head up when you’re walking. These are two I remember literally ALL the time walking through London or in big crowds. There’s nothing worse than feeling awkward and shy. Smile. Also key, because not only do you look at ease but it will make others feel more comfortable around you. If its self-confidence for a speech or an important event you’re looking for, remember to speak s-l-o-w-l-y. I’m quite a fast talker naturally so I’ve got to remind myself of this. Research has shown people that talk slower were judged as more self-confident and felt more self-confident. Also you’ll be able to deliver an effective message or speech.
3. Be kinder towards others
Empathy really helps you to actually be kinder on yourself too. I find that putting myself in others peoples shoes enables me to be less critical and try to think about how they’d feeeel in that situation. For example: I used to feel really self conscious going to the gym, but super confident in a swimming pool. However if someone came in and wasn’t a great swimmer I wasn’t critical, I thought ‘how great she/he’s getting into swimming’. So now when im flailing on the running machine, I’m imagining people are being kinder to me too and I feel a lot more confident.
4. Stop comparing yourself.
Oof I feel this ones important. This is so self destructive. There’s always going to be someone better at something, somewhere in the world. Also half the time we’re forgetting that we might be happier, smarter at something else or more skilled in another aspect of our lives. So instead try and focus on you. Focus on your own results and try and improve on that. Not only is this motivating and achievable, it’s great for raising your self-esteem! And if it’s physical appearance that you find yourself comparing a lot with others, my best tip is still DO YOU. Be yourself, embrace your curves, short hair, strange teeth, whatever it might be. I’ve found people really respect someone who embraces what they’ve got, you never know you might find you’ve got your own signature style! Think Georgia May Jagger with her model gap tooth smile.
5. Spend more time with supportive people (and less with destructive people)
Okay sorry this one is my favourite. You might have mastered the art of preparation, kindness to others and some uber confident stature but be fighting against people who want to put you down. I’ve had many a friend mock me for blogging and posting on instagram, to the point where I asked them to kindly unfollow if it offended them so much. Over time I’ve realized these aren’t really friends anyway, but the best thing to do is just choose to spend less time with people who are unkind or unsupportive of your dreams, hobbies or goals. Uplifting positive people only please. Remember: blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.
So those are my 5 tips to working towards higher self-confidence! For outfit details see below. Don't forget to hit the follow buttons and say hi on twitter or instagram @blaisedyer
Top - Nicce London
Skirt - Zara
Wedges - Boohoo
Bag - Sophie Hulme
Glasses - Tijn Eyewear